Holidays can be stressful for everybody, but especially for your neurodivergent child. Changes in routine and schedule, new experiences, unpredictability and surprises, more social events and interactions, and increased sensory input during the holiday season can make it feel overwhelming for everybody.
Here are some tips to make this time of year feel a little bit more manageable.
1. Plan ahead!
Plan activities and events in advance and communicate the plan to your child before it happens. Help your child know what’s coming with visual schedules, social stories, and pictures of people they will be seeing and meeting.
2. Create a Designated Safe and Calm Space
Whether you’re in your own home or celebrating with family and friends, make sure your child knows where they can go when they are feeling overwhelmed. Designate a quiet and calm space with preferred comfort or sensory items where your child can go when situations begin to feel like too much.
3. Stick to Routines Where You Can
There is so much novelty and unpredictability built into the holiday season- try to keep some semblance of predictability and routine for your child during this time. This may mean keeping their morning and night routines the same as well as providing them with some of their preferred foods during meal times to increase comfort and predictability during holiday events, too.
4. Limit Overwhelming Sensory Situations
Many of the classic holiday activities we think of can be overwhelming for the neurodivergent child. If you know that an event may be too much for your child, consider skipping or modifying that activity this year. For example, instead of going to a holiday parade which can be loud and congested, consider watching it on TV this year. Check your local community pages for sensory friendly activities happening as well!
5. Come Prepared for Sensory Overwhelm
The sights, sounds, and smells during the holidays can be a lot for all of us! Come prepared for the fact that your neurodivergent child may need extra support for managing these. Bring preferred sensory tools for your child (noise canceling headphones, compression vests, fidgets, sunglasses) to decrease some of this overwhelm.
6. Offer Choices
Offer your child choices where you can (especially those little choices that don’t impact your day very much!). This can help your child feel more ownership over the day’s events and decrease anxiety due to increased perception of control.
7. Opening Gifts Might Look Different – and That’s Okay!
Opening gifts can be overwhelming due to the unpredictability and excitement. It is completely okay to allow your child to open gifts in their own time, even if this is not the timeline you or your loved ones anticipate! Give them time to explore their new toys instead of expecting them to open all of their toys in one sitting. On that same note- come prepared! If you have gifted your child with a toy that requires assembly, a charge, or batteries, have it pre-assembled and ready to go to avoid meltdowns before they happen.
8. Recognize Your Own Limits
Recognize when things are getting hard for YOU and take a step back. Take the time you need to recharge during this busy season to prevent burnout. Be ok with asking for extra support from family and friends.
9. Prioritize What Matters Most to Your Family
Trying to do everything often results in exhaustion and overwhelm for everybody. What matters most to you and your family? Is it time with loved ones? Engaging in spiritual practices? Giving and receiving gifts? Decorations? Sharing a meal? Think about what matters most to you, your child, and your family and give yourself permission to complete a few of those things rather than trying to do everything. Keep it simple! Do what feels right and what will produce the most joy for your family this season.
10. Manage the Expectations of Loved Ones
Your child’s needs this holiday season may look different than what other family members without neurodivergent children expect. Remove the expectation that you or your child have to be perfect, and get comfortable setting boundaries with loved ones when your child may need to take a break, leave a situation early, or eat different foods than the rest of the group.