- Pay attention to your own regulation. An adult that is feeling dysregulated will not be an effective co-regulator* for their child. Check in with yourself, model using a preferred regulatory strategy (take a deep breath, count to 10), and then transition to co-regulating.
*Co-regulation means helping your child manage their emotions by staying calm and connected with them when they are upset. Essentially, you lend your calm to your child through your tone of voice, body language, and presence to help them feel safe and understood.
2.Name emotions that you notice in your child. For example, “I notice you are feeling mad that we cannot have ____ right now” or “I am wondering if you are feeling upset.” Naming emotions is a powerful tool for supporting your child’s emotional wellbeing and helps your child learn how to put their feelings into words.
3. Practice and explore regulatory strategies when your child is calm. Find ways to make them fun and a part of play! Instead of just instructing your child to take a deep breath, try incorporating a preferred interest (breathing fire like a dragon or blowing snow like Elsa) or making it into a game. Practicing regulatory strategies when your child is calm is important because it is when your child’s brain is able to learn best, it helps build confidence and familiarity with the strategy, and practicing together promotes connection with your child.